I have been dreaming about moving. Not from my home, though about three times a year I will have that disturbing, recurring dream; that we move and then wish we hadn’t. No, these dreams have been vivid portrayals of the leaving of one space to get to another, and they have stayed with me, demanding I slow down enough to interpret their meaning, but I’m stuck.
First, I was at the top of a steep hill. Young men were skateboarding down the hill through a tunnel, and my son was one of the last to go. I handed him a skateboard I had made and sent him off. His ride was reviewed in the local newspaper: how fun he was to watch, how he landed really well. It made me want to take the ride too, but I knew it wasn’t for me. It’s possible I had already gone.
Second, I was desperately trying to check out of a hotel room with my family, but they were moving in super slow motion, utterly content to stay there, but I just wanted to go home. In the room were our manger scene and a Santa display and I was madly gathering up those, and all of our stuff. When I asked my daughter to help find her other shoe, she said she wasn’t sure she had even brought it to begin with. When I put some of our stuff in a cart to bring outside, I realized my husband hadn’t pulled the van around and I was there in the pouring rain, absolutely desperate to leave, certain that other families might beat us. I needed to go home, and quickly.
Third, I was in an airport or a train station. It was one of those, anyway, and on the arms of my chair were a series of buttons indicating how much time I had and how much pain I would feel. I turned off four of the ‘time’ buttons and four of the ‘pain’ buttons and just sat patiently; numb, sleepy, and ready to go home. When I noticed there was a fellow passenger who needed help, I had to gather up my strength to assist her. She needed to be on the same plane or train as me, and she couldn’t do it without me. It felt like a lot of work, but it was work I was uniquely suited to do. I couldn’t leave her behind.
Three nights in a row, three strange dreams, and I remember them all vividly. There are some obvious themes, but I’m having trouble connecting all of the dots. It’s possible I need some distance from them. If you have thoughts, or if you’ve been dreaming weirdly lately, let me know in the comments or on social media… Thanks, and sweet dreams!
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